I think we all have had periods in our lives in which we felt pain in some form or another. Some pain goes deeper, while other pain eases off fairly quick. But pain which is persistent can be devastating indeed. “Mine eye also is dim by reason of sorrow, and all my members are as a shadow.”(Job 17:7) We all know the story of Job too well and the pain he received throughout his life. Pain causes us to look into the world in utter darkness. I think Job’s description of pain and sorrow cuts right down to the point, don’t you think? In order to understand the meaning of pain we need to know that there are other words for pain such as anguish, suffering, and sorrow. In my view, pain causes anguish and anguish suffering causes sorrow. They are all very closely related to each other. Pain is a feeling that cuts right down into your innermost parts of your soul and body, for pain is like a sharp bladed knife. It splits your soul from your body in a manner of speech.
But before we move on to explain some reasons for the cause of pain I want to share with you that pain, when persistent, can be of a demonic origin. The Greek thought pain to be a demon spirit called Algos or Algea (plural). They were the bringers of weeping and tears. These were the one’s that caused much pain and grief. They never worked alone, for they always worked together with the demon spirits of Lupe (distress), Ania (grief, sorrow) and Akhos (distress).However, we must take into account that not all pain is demonic! Not all pain needs to be viewed negative as well. Pain can also have a positive side, although not often, but sometimes it can bring us to a turning point in our lives, in which we can be changed for good. But most of the time we view pain as something painful indeed.
Pain can be caused by many things such as the loss of someone you loved, loss of a spouse (divorce), of a child, parent etc. Pain can also be caused by rejection, abuse, betrayal or loss of a job. You see, there are many things that can cause pain; it depends on the emotional state of a person. If someone is rejected throughout all of his life, he will perceive much more pain out of ordinary situations than a person who has felt loved throughout his life. Some pain is universal though, a good example being physical pain, and the loss of a loved one, but even with this form of pain, there are graduations that vary from person to person. Therefore, we ought not to judge about someone’s pain for the pain that person feels to that person is in fact very real.
“And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us” (Gen 42:21).
This verse tells us exactly of how we sometimes view someone’s pain. It is often misunderstood. Why? Because we all suffer pain in our own way and often we do not understand the pain in others. Maybe this is part of who we are, for pain is felt individually and therefore very hard to share with others. All we see is the person suffering from his pain and we feel helpless indeed. This helplessness can sometimes be uttered in a destructive way. Let me give you an example. A married couple, whose wife is in much pain for she has difficulty conceiving. He shares the pain but he views the situation from a different angle.
He thinks that she is young enough and she will at some point conceive. No need to worry or so he thinks. But she views it from another angle, she mourns the loss of her baby and she fears she might never conceive again. The husband sees his wife mourning, in great pain, distress and sorrow. Instead of being the loving husband, he lashes out at her, telling her to get her act together. She in return feels so misunderstood that the pain grows only deeper, for now she has another reason for pain, the misunderstanding of her husband.
How many of us have not dealt with a similar situation? I mean, not with the exact example, but with the reaction of a loved one to our pain. I know I have. I love my husband dearly but whenever I am in pain, instead of being the loving understanding husband I would like him to be in that situation, he sometimes lashes out at me with very harsh words. But you see, it is not because he does not love me, for I know he does, but it is his incapability of seeing me in pain that makes him react this way. We all have felt what Job has felt in some form or another:
“Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul”( Job 7:11).
Whenever we are in pain or anguish, the world around is seems utterly dark. “She is empty, and void, and waste: and the heart melteth, and the knees smite together, and much pain is in all loins, and the faces of them all gather blackness.”(Nah.2:10)
And when pain is consistent we:” … look unto the earth; and behold trouble and darkness, dimness of anguish; and they shall be driven to darkness.” (Isa 8:22)
Pain can also cause us to be on the defense and sometimes be very offensive. We lash out in our pain, and if we are misunderstood in our pain and sorrow, we lash out (defensive behavior). People who have suffered from rejection for example, usually behave in such a defensive way. They can severely injure themselves with their behavior. This happens because they know pain too well, and because they fear to receive more pain. Thus in reacting in this way, by lashing out, they unconsciously think they can prevent more pain by behaving in a defensive way. I call this defense behavior ‘the preventive behavior’, because these people try to prevent pain by putting up a defensive attitude, long before they might indeed receive pain. This behavior can be very self-destructive, for not many people will understand nor tolerate this behavior. This in return causes the person to become more isolated, and thus enhancing his rejection and thus his pain more and more. It is like going down a spiral tunnel, you need to grab yourself to the sides of the tunnel in order to prevent yourself from falling deeper and deeper.
People who suffer from rejection often, but not always, end up injuring themselves severely. Some people react to this pain by injuring themselves in a physical way. Cutting, burning or even starving oneself to death can be symptoms of severe pain either caused by rejection of by a severe loss. The intense felt pain quite often ends up in an extreme outburst of anger. This anger can be very explosive. And this can in turn cause some other problems such as fights, strives etc. Yet again the endless spiral. Another root that can sprout from pain is bitterness hatred and jealousy to name but a few.
“Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul”( Job 7:11 ).
And the apostle Paul said that bitterness will lead us into iniquity: “For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity” (Act 8:23)
This in return will make us behave in a sinful manner, for iniquity is a sin and thus not pleasing before God. Pain can cause us to behave in a sinful way by rebelling against God and others. Many people who suffer from severe pain such as rejection or the loss of a loved one or job for example, also suffer from anxiety and fear. Fear of feeling pain, fear of being rejected, fear of loosing another loved one and fear of fear. People, who suffer from rejection or other extreme form of pain, often turn to alcohol or drugs to ease their pain. They tend to draw back from society living an isolated life. This prevents them for getting more pain, ending not unusual in depression. You see, pain can be very devastating and if we do not cut it off, it will destroy us.
We need to deal with the pain and guard our hearts in order to prevent our heart becoming a heart of stone. A heart of stone is a heart which has lost its feeling. The Bible gives us this warning for a purpose: “Harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness”( Heb 3:8).
How do we heal our pain?
By looking at the root cause of our pain. By confessing our pain in prayer and if needed by forgiveness. Then we surrender our pain to God:
“Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God”(1 Cor 1:4).
Only God can take away your pain. Jesus said:
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Mt 11:29; Mt.11:30)
Then let the Holy Spirit comfort you for He is indeed the Comforter. And when His work in you is finished:
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away”( Rev. 21:4)